what happened is that ive been gone. in pain.look ma,my typing sucks, so does my grammer. i havent written in my blog for the longest time and guess what i still suck as a writer. but ill try really hard!
im with lakbay these days. i just resigned from my job as a sales assistant. you may call it sales lady. i got fed up on such plasticity in sales. not that im condemning sales as a whole but im condemning the lies behind personality you want to evoke. you could never be the person you want to be when you are in such job. unless it is for you or you are naturally friendly. but damn! its not for me. i can't afford better clothes, i can't make funny faces. you have to be professional and rigid all the time. what the hell... its just not me. but the experience taught alot. but 75% of those i dont need... whatever you say... whatever

whatever it is that i am doing now....i think it is soooo worth it that i am able to see my creation move... my eyes are heavy but not my heart

Wala Nito sa Vending Machine

Magkahalo sa pagtatampisaw ng yelo
pula at puti sila ay pinaghalo
sa ihip ng hanging nangingibabaw ang lamyos
hindi nito mapipigil ang pagsasalo.

sa tanghaling tapat
gumuguhit sa tigang na kalooban
tila isang pagsilakbo ng kaibuturan
nananaghoy ang isanglibo't isang ilawan
sa loob ng katawan kung saan ang init ay bumabanayad

sa hapon habang ang araw ay magtatago
lumalamig ang pagsuyong labis na natuyo
hanging humihele sa balat na paso
nakikiulayaw sa uhaw at pagod

ngunit pagkatapos lasapin
ang bawat himay ng panahon ng pananabik
lamig ng yelo, tabang ng gulaman
pagbibilog ng sago sa dilang di mapigilan
tamis nito ay nawawala, hinahanap
mananatili ang pagnanasang doon mo lamang nadama.

Theater is one hell of a passion! But what if you that that one thing you ultimately desired all your life is you have not... not even one-fourth capacity of having it done? you have no capacity for it! you tried your all to believe and yet you just cant. you began to feel the cold water all over you like you are drowning in the sea that you had desired to be in all summer! its killing you but you refuse to give up. to be killed by it. but your desire has overcomed the fear and the logical move to crawl back to the to the shore is cowardice. finally you give in by being killed in that one thing you love or you learn to tread the water carefully and swimming back... victorious!

CLOCKWORK ORANGE

I think I have a severe mental illness... you know why? its because its a totally sick and pointless movie... though... maybe i just didnt get the point but... arrrgh i like the movie!!!! Its a kaleidoscope of things i didnt... would never imagine... sheesh... Kubrick guy rocks!!!!

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

No word could describe the feeling it evoked. No word could PROPERLY describe it. I would rant about it and rant and rant and rant... this could go on forever.
Once again... a movie moved me that my eyes turned into a faucet. Tears flowed and flowed freely. So freely that Ithought the whole movie house would flood with tears. Not only does it got everything from blood to gore. But the cinematography... oh wow! its sooooo beautiful. These actors also, gave great performance especially Mary. Jim Caviezel... nyahahaha!!!! i dont want to think that he's hot in the film but duh! I can't help noticing the guy... but as Christ... again... i don't want to think he's a hot guy ( I feel that this thing I'm talking about is kinda blasphemous?). The performance was awesome. Plus there is Monica Belucci. From being stoned in the movie Malena to being stoned again as Mary Magdalene. She didn't do alot in the movie but I can't help asking to myself... is there any angle that would make her less beautiful?
This movie is so powerful that i might began professing gospels... that powerful... (p.s. im not paid to rave about this movie... its for my own purpose, for professing that my 66 pesos is not enough for it... that i would pay more for the movie.. and take note: im a near miser and for the peace of my soul) Amen.

(p.p.s. i would've written more things about this stuff... but i am so tipsy right now and my head aches alot that i don't remember what im supposed to write. I hope nobody would criticize the way I wrote... I know this movie deserves more than just this. Im sorry.)

i dont know if its soooo bad if i get so distant to alot of people? i know... its so difficult. i was once so close to this person that its just a matter of seconds before i faint and die if we wouldnt have any communication in every hour of the day. i dont know whats wrong with me... the other day when we were out, and i dont know what i felt... i felt sooo fucking irritated with her. with everything she says and the bad thing is... i dont want to tell that to her because i have no other explanation about it... im soooo fuckin sorry about it. right now im getting irritated again with her because... i kept on remebering how she teasing me for being chinese and looking like one. its sooo bad. i dont even want to tell her that its making me fucking mad. its soooo fucking horrible