Theater is one hell of a passion! But what if you that that one thing you ultimately desired all your life is you have not... not even one-fourth capacity of having it done? you have no capacity for it! you tried your all to believe and yet you just cant. you began to feel the cold water all over you like you are drowning in the sea that you had desired to be in all summer! its killing you but you refuse to give up. to be killed by it. but your desire has overcomed the fear and the logical move to crawl back to the to the shore is cowardice. finally you give in by being killed in that one thing you love or you learn to tread the water carefully and swimming back... victorious!